Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The eyes were not meant for foreign objects. Period. Not dirt, debris, sand, and especially not contacts. My eyes feel like they are full of sand all the time! And I am still only up to 3 hours :( I can't believe I'm about to say this but come on eye callouses!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 3 with my contacts. I wore them while driving and I've gotta say, I was quite overwhelmed by all this vision. For goodness sakes has the sun always been this bright?? Perhaps my diminishing vision was an evolutionary development to help me survive in this visually overwhelming world. Wow! The colors! I mean, it's nice to be able to read a street sign before the second I go whizzing by it but someone get me some super dark sunshades for crying out loud!

The extra good news is that I really am blinking less now, and can somewhat look around without turning my entire head like a muppet.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

My contacts arrived and today I went in for my "contact lens fitting." First of all, my eyes are very, very sensitive (you're surprised, right?). It's hard for me even to put eyeliner on. Whenever anything comes toward my eye, safe or not, it goes into spasms (helpful as a natural reflex, not so helpful in the world of contacts. Let's not even talk about how hard it is for the opthamologist to do the glaucoma test that blows that puff of air into your eye). Anyway, my eye sensitivity is compounded by anxiety about how hard lenses cannot be easily moved around your eye. Because they are hard, you risk scratching your cornea if you slide them across your eye. If you've ever had contacts, you know it's not that hard to put them in wrong or rub your eye without thinking, which dislodges the contact and allows it to float up into your brain (ok, that is theoretically impossible but that doesn't make me feel any less nervous about it).


What was I talking about again? I got distracted by the thought of having a collection of contacts in my brain.


Well, after I actually got the contacts in (minus the time when I blinked too soon and the contact when into the abyss of my eye corner and I screamed, "Help! Help!" and the secretary yelled, "Somebody get the doctor!" causing all kinds of mayhem and staring, and by the time the doctor arrived I had wedged it out of my eye and I said, "I'm ok now."), the doctor took a look and said my vision was 20/20 and the contacts were sitting well. I had to admit, I could see!....so long as I only looked downward at the floor...without blinking.

"I can only see straight in front of me--everything to the sides is blurry--is that normal?" I asked.

"Yes." she replied.

Really? Couldn't they come up with something better? Like, isn't peripheral vision important?

"And how long until I get used to them?" I continued, through my red, puffy, traumatized eyes, and mascara running down my face.

"About a week. You're already blinking less than when you first put them in." (And by this I assumed she meant at a rate less than 400 times per minute.)

SO a week here I go....

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm giving contact lenses a try for the, oh, fiftieth time in my life. I have had glasses since I was five years old but I only wear my glasses at home to read and use the computer (even though I should probably wear them all the time). I have tried contacts many, many times and have been unsuccessful every time. I have astigmatism which makes contact-wearing difficult in the first place. One must use weighted toric lenses that only focus when the weighted side sits at the bottom of your eye. For me, the contacts never quite settled properly and therefore my vision was always blurry. I tried every brand of toric lenses before finally moving on to hard lenses.

Hard lenses are, well, hard. They take a while to get used to because you can feel them in your eye. Supposedly, after wearing them for awhile your eye develops a callous (gross!) which desensitizes your eye and you don't feel the hard lenses any more. The last time I tried hard lenses I was never able to get used to them. To further complicate things, I also have very dry eyes. As a result, I was putting eye drops into my eyes as frequently as less than every 30 minutes. That makes for a very long, uncomfortable day. With all these factors together, I decided to give up on contact lenses and just go through life being partially blind.

Then I got pregnant.

I found out that pregnancy can make your eyes even dryer and make your vision worse. What I wasn't told, was that after pregnancy your eyesight never goes back to the way it was pre-pregnancy. Um, does this mean that with each child I just keep getting blinder??? Well anyway, last week I decided it was time to visit the eye doctor to renew my 10+ year old glasses prescription. While I was there, I decided to give contacts another go. After all, it would be nice to be able to see at work.

The doctor had me try on all the toric lenses they had in stock, even newer ones that are especially for dry eyes. I couldn't see. Not even a little bit. The doctor determined that I have flat corneas which prevent the weighted lenses from ever settling properly. I was grateful to finally find out the reason behind my life of contact drama! The solution? Hard lenses or glasses. I ordered a pair of hard lenses (not covered by insurance, thank you very much) and my total bill was $400+ without even ordering the glasses. *Gulp* No wonder I haven't been to the eye doctor in so long! I will go back to buy a pair of glasses when my FCPS insurance kicks in (did you know that frames and lenses are sold separately???).

"The Wonder Hanger"

BEFORE

AFTER

When I saw the infomercial for The Wonder Hanger I was all, "well that's not that impressive..." and then by the end of the commercial I was like "ooooh" and ready to buy 10 for the price of 1 with four free Bendy Hangers, three Closet Lights, and a partidge in a pear tree (plus shipping and handling). Well, I held off.....BUT THEN I saw some at the dollar store! I guess that makes them As Seen As Seen on T.V.?

The Dollar Tree version is a bit flimsy (to be expected---although I've read online reviews that even the real Wonder Hanger is flimsy) and sometimes the weight of my clothes makes the hooks pop off (ok, ok I am putting two hangers into each hole). On the Dollar Tree version, the place where you put the hanger is not a slot but rather a hole. As a result, you can only fit skinny wire hangers into it (like the kind you get from the dry cleaners) and not nicer plastic or wooden hangers. The "Wonder Hanger" does save some closet space but it's almost as though it just concentrates all the clothes onto a lower level so it merely looks neater--which is not useful if you have a second, lower hanging rod for skirts and shirts (like I do). It is also difficult to get the clothes on and off it because you have to carefully pull the hanger out through the hole. However, this problem may be fixed on the real Wonder Hanger since it has slots to place the hangers in, rather than holes.

Pants Not on the Ground

Well, it's that time of year again. I go through this every year (sometimes twice a year): the saga of trying to find clothes that fit me properly. Pants are a particular problem. You see, not only am I hipless, but I have disproportionately long legs. To make things more difficult, "long" or "tall" length pants are just a bit too long, while "regular" length pants are just short enough to be borderline highwaters. And I despise, positively despise, when the action of sitting down decreases my pant length just enough to reveal my sock line at the ankle. Almost as much as I despise my wristbones showing out the ends of my long-sleeved shirts (P.S. I also have disproportionately long arms). But with too-short long sleeves (oxymoron), I can (and always do) keep them pushed up past my elbows. Both of these things make me feel incredibly self-conscious; I might as well be walking around with a booger sticking out of my nose, a hole in the back of my pants, used toilet paper stuck to my shoe, and chunks of spinich stuck in my teeth. That's how attractive I feel when my pants are too short.

So anyway, I've been on the hunt for pants that fit comfortably while both sitting and standing. With regards to jeans, my old, affordable stand-by is Khols SO brand long-length jeans. The price is right and they fit well. Glo is too curvy, Paris Blues are too short, Angels are too low. Target jeans are too short. Old Navy jeans don't fit right. Express is too expensive unless they're on clearance. (And don't even get me started on maternity jeans that don't look ridiculous...) After going through my wardrobe today (UGH which reminds me that there are piles of clothes all over the bedroom that I swore I'd come back to after abruptly leaving to go shopping but had forgotten about until this very moment) I realized that I'm good on jeans. Now I'm looking for pants to vary my style a bit....which basically means khakis. I was really excited when I found pants at NY & Co. yesterday that fit well AND they were have a Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal! I went back today to finish trying things on (since yesterday I made the mistake of leaving for the mall too close to Mishaela's bedtime and every time we entered a dressing room she started screeching) and while the jeans looked fab-u-lous, the khakis didn't fit quite right. And they only had regular length in my size. Sigh. I went back to Kohls last night and Old Navy because, seeing as how I hadn't tried any khakis on at those stores this year, I figured maybe, by some stroke of luck, they will suddenly look good on me. Not so much. In fact, not at all. Still too short, too tight, too baggy, or some odd combination of the 3 all at the same time.

So for you slim-hipped, long-legged folks out there, here are the brands to try:

Kohls SO Jeans (Long)

NY & Co. Jeans (Low-Rise, Bootcut, Tall)

To Be Continued....

Product Review: Moby vs. Ergo

Here is Mishaela in the Moby Wrap, facing outwards. I'm shocked that she tolerated this position because I sure wouldn't want my arms strapped down like that! However, she feels very stable from my point of view--almost like she is part of my body.

This way looks more cofortable for her but she is actually very unstable and slips out when I bend over (oops!).

Moby with Mishaela facing inwards. This was the way I wore her when she was smaller and curled into a constant fetal position. She would often fall asleep this way.

Front view of her facing inwards.

The Ergo with Mishaela in the front-carry position (the baby cannot face outwards in the Ergo carrier).

Side view of the front position.

Back-carry Ergo position. With her arms "in" like this, the Ergo pulls my pants down :(

With her arms "out," this position pulls my pants down less but at her height, the top of the carrier makes little red marks in her armpits :(

Both carriers have their pros and cons. The Ergo is far easier to put on and much "cooler" in warm weather. The Moby was fine to wear during the winter but with the baby wrapped up like that, in the summer it feels positively sweltering. There is a lighter version of the Moby called the Portable Baby Wrap (http://www.theportablebaby.com/wrap.html) which I have not tried but would consider buying if I ever have a newborn in the summer. In the Ergo she has more wiggle room and I can feel her swaying from side-to-side when I turn around, which makes me feel less stable than when she is wrapped up against me in the Moby. The Moby does not have a back-carry position or a side-carry position. The Ergo, however, has a back-carry position (as you can see) and also a side-carry option--which I have not yet been able to figure out.

Baby Signs

Last night I came home from work to nurse Mishaela. She knew what time it was and started screaming as soon as she saw me. I put my purse down and walked over to the play mat where she was sitting with her dad. "Do you want milk?" I asked her, while signing for 'milk.' She looked at my hand, looked back at my face, and gave a demanding screech. I continued to sign for 'milk' and asked inquisitively, "Milk?" She threw her head back and screeched even louder. "Milk?" I asked, still signing. "You do it. Say 'milk.'" In response, she started screaming like a wild animal, crying, stomping her little feet, and throwing her head back and forth in frustration. So I walked out of the room. A few seconds later when she had stopped crying and resumed playing with her toys, I reappeared. She looked at me, dropped her toys and furiously signed 'milk' with both hands. I swooped her up, lavished her with praise, gave her a kiss, and of course, milk. I was so proud of her. =)

When she had finished nursing I gave her to Marc so he could put her to bed. As he carried her down the hall she began to wail. From the nursury I heard, "Um...I think she wants more milk." Apparently, as soon as he laid her down on the changing table she started signing for milk. So, milk she got. I was wondering if perhaps it was just a ploy to delay bedtime ("Can I have a glass of water?") but no, she was indeed still hungry. After that she went to bed without a problem.

This morning when she woke up I nursed her like usual and when she had finished, I took her to change her diaper. When I laid her down on the changing table she signed for 'more.' "You want more milk?" I asked. She gave me a big smile. I took her off the changing table and she did, indeed, want to nurse again. I'm so impressed!

The New Cone of Silence

Ridiculous? Hopefully this Comfy Cone will keep Brody comfortable as well as inhibit the paw licking.

Drive-Thrus Are Not For Rainy Days

The sky was looking ominous when I dropped Mishaela off at daycare but I had some extra time before work and I really wanted some Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Well, on my way to DD the sky opened up. Like Noah's Arc meets El Niño. But when I have my mind set on something, there's no turning back. How bad could it be? I asked myself as I hydroplaned down Rt. 28. I'll just order really quickly....

Well as it turns out, the DD ordering window does not have an overhang. Although even if it did have an overhang, I don't think it would have made a difference because I'm pretty sure it was raining vertically, horizontally, and upside down by then. As the rain was pouring down my windows so much that I couldn't even read the menu, I thought to myself, Am I really going to do this? Yes. I'm already here, just do it. It'll be really fast. So I rolled down my window and opened my mouth to shout out my entire order inonelongsentence and I felt like I was sprayed in the face with a garden hose. SPLAT! SPLOOSH! Seriously, it was like I had just driven my car down Splash Mountain. I think I got about this far, "I'd like a number AHHHHHH!!!" before I rolled up the window.

Oh my gosh. I sat for a moment, stunned. I then opened the window just enough to stretch my lips up to the crack and yelled over the roar of rain, "I'd like a number one decaf AHHHHHH!!!" as I was pelted in the face with more rain than I thought could possibly enter through a window crack. "Hello?" came the warm, dry, and probably very entertained (or annoyed) voice from the intercom. Not ten seconds with an open window and I looked like I had run across the parking lot in the downpour. I was drenched. Well, there's really no point in stopping now. Just finish I told myself. I took a deep breath, rolled down the window and feeling guilty for screaming at him twice, I yelled out the window, "I'M SORRY--IT'S JUST RAINING REALLY HARD!" Genius. Way to waste two more seconds of drench time. Anyway, I finished my order as quickly as possible, being so disoriented by this experience that I asked for 3 Equals in my coffee and although I ordered a number one what I really wanted was a number three with reduced fat cream cheese but somehow it all worked out in the end.

At the service window I intelligently waited with my window up until the guy was ready to take my credit card ("intelligently"? Is there really anything intelligent about this whole scenario? That's my present-moment brain thinking) Then when he was ready we scrunched up our faces and attempted to do the quickest coffee credit card trade in history, through a car window open not more than the height of a Dunkin' Donuts medium coffee. By the second time around when he had to give me back my card and my bagel we were all McGuvyer about it. First we made eye contact, then did a head nod, and simultaneously while he opened his two little windows, I rolled down mine (all the while in my mind yelling go! go! go!) and he shoved a paper bag into my hand as he rapidly yelled, "receiept-and-card-are-in-the-bag-have-a-nice-day!" and he ducked back in like a turtle and shut the little DD window shutters. At this point I was laughing hysterically, mascara melting down my face, wet hair plastered to my head, soaked all down the left side (both me and my car). Um, I think I need to go home and get some dry clothes.

P.S> That picture was taken after the a/c in my car dried things off a bit. Impressive, huh? I was impressed. No more epic rain storm drive-thrus. Put that on the delivery guys :) J/K

Thrift Store Heaven

I love thrift stores. There. I said it. It's the same reason that I love Freecycle. There's something about being able to find some hidden treasure, big or small, that someone has given up--before another someone does. It's about the hunt, the competition and, of course, the wonderful monetary deals! My all time favorite thrift store is Unique in Falls Church. It is the mother of all thrift stores--a model that all should aspire to. It is clean, organized, and HUGE! It's basically a warehouse lined with shelves of goodies one could only imagine. I mean, where else around here could you expect to find an Amish Coloring Book?? To add to Unique's greatness, there are about a dozen cashiers to make for a speedy check-out and today I finally gave in and signed up for their VIP Card which allows me, that's right folks, an extra 25% off already cheap stuff on Monday and Thursdays. What? 25 MORE cents off this fantastic plastic bowl with fake cherries on it?? DON'T TEASE ME. And today, my friends, I made out like a thrifty bandito.

It was 50% off all toys, books, and some other things that I couldn't understand them yelling over the loudspeaker every five minutes in bad accents (yes, a downside to this thrift store mecca) so I must say, Mishaela made out too! I bought her a whole bunch of toys in great condition ranging from $1-$2 (which really ended up being .50-$1) in hopes that they will keep her entertained enough for me to be able to stay home in peace with her without listening to her scream like a wild banshee (a big thanks to her peers for teaching her this new loud and completely obnoxious trick). All day long she alternates between frighteningly deep, rumbling growls and ear piercing shrieks. (And don't even think about getting her excited about something without a pair of ear plugs handy.) Anyway, I visited Unique an hour before work but since I didn't have time to go over every shelf with a fine toothed comb and investigate every nook and cranny, I had to come back for round two after work. I was only halted prematurely (once again) by the announcement that they would be closing at 8. 8?? 8PM??? How could you?? You're not open 24 hours?? Or at least until midnight?? There are so many more things to look at! But anywhoo I was not totally disheartened because I had already found THE find of the day---perhaps even THE find of the YEAR.

Drumroll please...........A DOLLHOUSE! But not just any dollhouse--a huge, wooden, unpainted, dreamhouse, in great condition, with flower boxes under the big bay windows, doors with tiny doorknobs that open out onto the balcony, and with LIGHTING! Someone took the time to install electricity in this joint! When I turned the corner and my eyes laid upon this delicate treasure, my mouth dropped to the floor. I could scarcely believe my luck in making such a find! I searched furiously for the price tag and nearly exploded with exhilaration when I read: $6.96. Do they know that dollhouses like this cost hundreds of dollars??? I went home (P.S. fitting that large, fragile, abode into the backseat of my corolla was quite tricky--since it takes up my entire back seat) and found one on Ebay, just like the one I got, for $500. Crazy! I can't wait to get started restoring it! Painting, tiny furniture, a petite garden, perhaps. I fear that I may be entering a world of some kind of dollhouse cult, which, dare I even suggest, may even surpass the insanity of guinea pig owners.

Always, ever since I was a little, little girl, have wanted a big, beautiful dollhouse of my very own. Due to limited space in our apartment and limited finances for funding a hobby project that could very well cost more than our monthly mortgage, I settled for a Little People's House (which, I am appalled to say, I came across a few years ago in an antique store. An antique store? Really? I'm an antique already??!).

I can't wait to start posting pictures of the dollhouse: pre-, during, and post-renovations. =D

Jessica's Gone Raw

They say you should never go grocery shopping when hungry. That is precisely why I stopped at Taco Bell before going to Trader Joe's last night to buy two bags of raw food for the raw food diet I started today. I've done this raw food detox diet twice in the past. The first time was in college, in order to eat healthy and lose some weight. I made it 5 of the 21 days. The first three days I thought I was going to die. The fourth day I felt A-MA-ZING. No asthma, no allergies, no headache and more energy than ever--I didn't even need a nap that day! The second time was to try and end my six month headache that had been incurable by any other means. That time I made it 10 days but didn't have nearly the same wonderful effects. Probably because I was on 16+ pills of medication per day to control the headache pain. It's probably an oxymoron to try and detox while simultaneously intoxicating my body. I was so proud of myself for making it through today, even though I came thisclose to having a diet coke at work. Then on my way home from work a co-worker called and reminded me that she was taking us out to lunch tomorrow. DRAT! There goes the diet. I felt mad for having suffered all day for nothing. I came home and drowned my sorrows in "someone's" half a chocolate bar in the fridge (sorry Honey). I'll try again another day, perhaps Monday. I will faithfully suffer for three days and if by the fourth day I don't feel A-MA-ZING---I'm having a whole chocolate bar, darnit.

Exhibit B

And THIS is why I've given up trying to make baby food. Burnt, blueberry pebbles, anyone?

Why It's So Hard To Eat Healthy

I've resumed blogging everyone! Sound the alarm! Bring out the confetti and sparklers! I'm sure you are all SO excited to once again be able to peek inside the carnival funhouse that is my mind.

On my Facebook status this morning I posted, "Why is it so hard to eat healthy". (Probably the adverb should be healthily but once again thanks to modern technology and being out of school for four years, my grammar just goes further down the toilet. And I'm sure that sentence I just wrote is missing all sorts of commas. But I digress. I quite purposefully did not end that statement with punctuation because I don't really need answer. I know why it's so difficult to eat health(il)y. In fact there are about a hundred reasons (excuses really) as to why it's so hard for me to eat healthily. And this morning I found reason 101. Please view Exhibit A, featured above.

What are they? you might ask. Well they're pancakes--duh! Whole wheat blueberry pancakes! Made from the worst recipe ever! I take that back---THE worst "pancake" recipe ever is the Amaranth Pancakes of the Candida Diet. Yes, let's take those creepy small corns that you find in salads that I never know the name to, grind them up, add a little sea salt and kelp powder, and fry them in a pan. Sounds delicious, no? Gag. But I digress. Again. Welcome to my mind folks!

Here is the link to the recipe, so that you will all know how not to make "healthy" pancakes: http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/whole-wheat-blueberry-pancakes/Detail.aspx I think the main problem was using only whole wheat flour. I might try this recipe again with half whole wheat flour and half all purpose flour (but likely I will just try another recipe). Using only whole wheat flour might be fine for muffins but it made these pancakes very heavy. They also barely rose. And I forgot to spray the pan with oil. This was my thought process while making pancakes this morning while listening to Mishaela protest from her highchair about how little pieces of slimey banana are impossible to pick up with little fingers. Note: I brilliantly turned on the gas stove to High so the pan could warm up while I was mixing the batter. As I stood with a measuring cupfull of batter poised over the pan, this is what went through my mind:

Let me check the recipe again to make sure I haven't forgotten anything....oh it says to spray the pan with oil....I don't normally spray the pan with oil....but the recipes usually have oil in them....this recipe doesn't call for oil...I should probably put oil in the pan....but it's a nonstick pan, doesn't that mean it doesn't need oil?....I should probably just spray oil....but the pan is already hot...it could cause an explosion...and what kind of oil? We have olive oil, canola oil, vegetable oil....

Meanwhile, smoke is coming off of the hot oil-less pan. So I turned the heat down to Med., turned on the vent (what is that thing called anyway, an exhaust vent?), sprayed some oil in the pan and quickly dropped in three scoopfuls of batter. Well, before I even had the batter in the pan, the oil had burned onto the pan and the pancake batter immediately started to burn. So what did I do? I flipped them over. They're just cooking faster because of the high heat, right? And if I squish them so all the runny insides come out they'll cook fast to, right? And if they're not cooked through by the time the second side is cooked I should flip them over again and cook the first side some more, right? Right. And that's exactly what I did.

Oh wait. Maybe the problem was actually the cook.